Fear at the root of all thought

Thought is never stronger than when creating fear. Just stop and think for a moment. Watch it. Can you write down what comes up as it does? Chances are it is about fear or control (ultimately the same thing). Simple thoughts about others, situations, and ourselves if examined are about thought trying to control and predict stuff or go over old stuff in order to attempt to analyse and judge. All of it is to go with fear. 


Worry, anxiety, and unworthiness are one of its best fuels for those trains. It can grow and gain strength as these kinds of thoughts carry immense energy. Once in this track loop it can then cause emotions which are triggered by it and add on the train giving the sensation of impending danger and death. What a great way to keep itself going. How can you ever stop thinking now? If you do, you will die. The fear of death is the basic root of thought. When I first started this journey I would sit and write down thoughts as they would arise and watch the trains connect. Writing them down was a great way of being able to really hear what they are saying in a way that you just can’t do when you are listening to it in your head. All the time that you believe everything that thought says, it feels in control. You've got it together right!? Sorted. You haven’t though, that’s the thing.  


Now these trains can be hard to spot. They don’t have a sign on the front saying “thought train based in deep rooted fear” most of the time. They start with things like “I don’t want to lose him” or I really need to get this job”. We tend to stay stuck on the words and that particular part of the train. I need this… something can be traced back down the carriages to a feeling carriage of self-worth, self-acceptance or a total avoidance of being seen as nobody. If you sit and watch, you can see the thoughts linked together as they arise and follow the train right back to the root. There will be a fear. 



Once this fear is faced with a deep acceptance and readiness for death, the allowed thought has lost its power. Once this death takes place, in the ending of personal thought, only then can it be seen that this was the great illusion of life. We were mistaking ourselves for thought; believing in every word. Once ended, it is seen that it never had any control and this is what it was trying to cover up all along. The lack of control was what was causing the fear, but it could not see this as it has no awareness to be able to do so. The body functions without thought. Situations unfold, life is lived and yet at last it is seen that thought and its stories of worry and fear were only ever stories. 


We get trapped in a cycle of understanding. We try to understand in order to control. This comes from a want to protect our image of self. There seems to be so much to understand that the very idea of giving up understanding seems crazy. Is there a field beyond understanding where in everything “that is” is already understood without a need for understanding? Would this then be the first and last step? 


Fear of rejection along with all other fears is the result of the mind responding to its own contents. The mind only ever responds to itself and not the actual situation. There is actually not a mind, only memory (which is an abstraction from the past complete with interpretation) and imagination. Imagining that these memories can be projected onto a present to make sense of it, is our confusion. We have then con-fused (fused with) the past with the present. Therefore, our every response must be inaccurate. When memory tells us to expect a particular result, we all too often respond to that expectation in a way that brings about the very situation that we expected or feared. This seems to confirm that our expectations were correct and we seldom acknowledge that it was our responses that not only brought about the situation but actually comprised the situation. This is what actually puts us in conflict with “others” when we are responding to our own expectations in any situation and “others” are responding to different expectations, then there must inevitably be conflict of actions. We fail to notice that our actions comprise the situations. We are actually never “in” a situation, we ARE the situation. In this sense “I am the world”. 


The whole psychological mind is based in fear. The moment a “Me” takes root, thought has to protect it in order that it can take care of the body. Thought not having awareness can never see that both the body and it’s “me” are abstractions from the whole and therefore can never have any independent existence. Don’t try to stop thought…it cannot be done! Just see that there is no ME. There never has been, never is, and never will be. The idea of “I” has to die, but thought can’t bring this about because there is no time in which to bring it about. See that thought cannot change or control anything although it constantly thinks that it does and can. This is its grand illusion. 


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